Our First International Vernissage

Five days, two countries, one Vernissage (a.k.a. exhibit), two creative expression workshops, 16 new beautiful and original pieces of art, one growing international community.

On May 15, The Working Mother Experience hosted its first international exhibit and series of workshops in Copenhagen, Denmark and Malmo, Sweden with mothers and fathers from all around the world. We didn’t just collect art (although we collected some extraordinary pieces), we curated an incredible new and thriving community of mothers and fathers, willing to share their story and the lessons they’ve learned, and support others.

But before I dive in on the event, let’s return to the beginning of how this all came to be, for even in the process of bringing the event to life, the Canadian-based team was humbled and educated on the many cultural differences and interpretations of this project. 

As a lover of adventure, I have always wanted to see where this project could go, hoping it would enable an overseas expedition. So when Amanda Lapadat, an acquaintance from highschool (yes, highschool) reached out almost two years ago, offering to get engaged and support our international growth, I jumped (likely literally) at the offer. From that moment began my education on how this project may not have resonance overseas. 

Firstly, Amanda shone light on the language we were using to promote our initiative, specifically, the word “ambitious” and how it might disincentive someone in Sweden from participating due to the unwritten, but widely known and accepted, Jante Law. For those not familiar with Jante Law, it largely focuses on not standing out or making yourself the star; as such, labeling oneself as ‘ambitious’ is a faux pas. For those Americans or Canadians reading this, perhaps you’re as surprised as I was given we come from a culture that encourages and expects people to want to stand out and be the star. 

But even as we played with the language and the approach, the art wasn’t flowing in. Amanda found it hard to showcase what we were doing in a way that resonated with her network. Why just mothers? Why not fathers? What’s the concern for working mothers (in Scandinavian countries women are expected to work)?  These were just a few of the questions she received while explaining the project. Yet, we decided to plunder forward with the Vernissage, hoping this would help catalyze the creation of Scandinavian art. 

As the event loomed closer, I went into event planner overdrive, hoping to secure more ticket sales, sponsorship, and collaboration with local businesses. But, I’m a foreigner. I don’t have the relationships or local presence. And so, I had to step back, surrender and trust in the incredible work and network that Amanda has cultivated since moving to Sweden nine years ago. That this wasn’t about the event per se, it was about the opportunity to learn from another culture and hopefully, to take back our learning to support small, yet impactful local change. 

And then, on May 15, it all came together. 

The room was electric, vibrating with excitement, delight, and perhaps, the sheer pleasure to commune and connect in shared reverence for art and storytelling, to talk about an experience so widely shared, but not often explored in this format. Adorning the walls of Emmylou Cafe were 20 pieces of original art, intentionally curated for their unique perspective on mothering and working, created by mothers around the world. Guests heard from Nathatlie Rasmussen, our keynote speaker, a Dutch lawyer, now residing and working in Denmark, who shared her experience of trying to pursue part-time work to spend more time with her daughter - not an easy feat in a country where mothers work full-time with very few exceptions.

And the painting begins….

The intimacy of the space, the energy of the attendees, combined with Nathalie’s openness enabled a beautiful dialogue and exchange, highlighting the differences between Danish, Dutch, Swedish and Canadian parenting experiences. We explored how the systems are structured to enable greater support for parents (or not), and how the mindset of the culture matters greatly, often determining if someone thrives or simply survives (we are going to dedicate an entire series of blog posts to the cross-cultural learning that took place). 

This conversation was followed by a beautiful storytelling and painting experience for ten guests, who openly shared their struggles of working and mothering - from managing child and teen mental health issues, to job loss, to facing one’s childhood trauma, to navigating the fears of pregnancy. So much came to bear, clearly highlighting that many of the parenting challenges we experience are universal. That loving our children isn’t culturally mediated, but instinctual, primal and woven into our shared experience of being human. 

At this moment, I realized this project does and will have resonance overseas. Because, motherhood knows no bounds. 

A unique perspective on the creative process (taking full advantage of the ceiling mirrors at Emmylou Cafe, Copenhagen, Denmark).

And then, on May 16, it happened again. 

This time, in the comfort of Amanda’s beautiful Malmo home, we connected with seven local mothers who originated from around the world (Ireland, Germany, Spain, Finland and yes, a few from Sweden). The art took form and as always, was completely and utterly unique with a few artistic firsts - a medicine bottle to showcase the struggle when kids are sick and how it can derail the entire household, and, our first abstract vagina (how it took this long is shocking)! 

Creating in Malmo, Sweden.

Guests who were unsure of what this is and why it matters, left with a new perspective, having allowed a piece of their soul to shapeshift into the physical form, now reflected in a piece of art. Perhaps our newly minted artists realized this isn’t about hogging the spotlight, but about giving space and time to share in the richness of motherhood and further cultivate a bond and community. 

I left Scandinavia overflowing with appreciation for the beauty of the land and its people. I am incredibly grateful to Amanda for bringing this event to life, to our local team for supporting the event, for our event sponsors at DIS and the Canadian Embassy, Vita and Kaspars, owners of Emmylou Cafe, and to our amazing attendees who took a chance, helped us grow and learn, and create something beautiful. 

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

M

Stay tuned for more on our adventures overseas.